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Wedding Etiquette Rules it is Alright to Break

Holly Bowe

Couples are trying harder than ever to personalize their wedding and make it uniquely their own. However, there is some hesitancy to do away with all of the little etiquette guidelines that have been followed for years.  Here are a list of some that it is okay to break:

 

THE BRIDE'S PARENTS PAY FOR THE WEDDING
With more couples marrying later in life when they are financially established, the rules regarding who pays for the wedding have changed.  Now more and more couples are paying for the majority of the wedding on their own, or delegating out what they are comfortable having their families pay for.

 

THE BRIDE MUST WEAR WHITE
Queen Victoria, who was married in 1840, is credited with starting the tradition that a bride must wear white.  Before her selection of a white gown, brides wore their best gown for their wedding, despite the color.  More and more brides are choosing to go with an off-white, pale blush, beige, or even a bold color for their wedding gown.  The sky is the limit...make your color choice uniquely yours!

 

THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE CAN'T HOST THE SHOWER
It was believed that if the bride's mother, or a member of her immediate family, hosted her bridal shower they were merely trying to rack in the gifts and being self serving.  Nowadays many brides have their moms, aunts, or even grandmothers either host or co-host the shower with the bridesmaids.  This takes much of the financial burden off the bridesmaids who have the cost of the gown, possible travel expense, hair appointment, etc....

 

YOU CAN'T ASK FOR CASH
While it is tradition in some cultures (Chinese and Italian to name a couple) to give cash as a wedding gift, this has not always been the case in American culture.  In fact, it was considered taboo to ask for or give cash for a wedding gift.  With more creative wording choices now and more couples asking for home improvement gifts, along with wine of the month memberships it has become common place to ask for money as a wedding gift.  Just be sure to still have a traditional registry for those people who would like to help with housewares & fine China.

 

YOU HAVE A YEAR TO SEND YOUR THANK YOU NOTES
This is a rule that dates back to when it would take about six months to get your wedding pictures back and it was customary to include your wedding photo in the thank you note.  With photographers using digital now, you can pose for a nice Thank You picture and ask your photographer to send it to you ASAP to have cards made up.  It is now acceptable to send out your Thank You notes within 2-3 months, with a hand written note on them to personalize the card.